Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Wednesdays of Fail - 2011/09/07

Institutioned by Winterblink and Urban Mongral of the late Warp Drive Active podcast, carried on by Ga'len the Wandering Druid of Tranquility, it is now my duty to bring to you the one great source of laughter and/or tears of blood from the sheer pain applied to the optic nerves of anyone who gazes at them: The Fail Mail! To me they are one of the big reasons to keep playing even in these present dark times. You never know when you will come across a ship so badly fit that you could probably have killed it with a hard enough pod bump!

Because It hasn't even been a week since I've announced that I would be doing this and haven't yet received killmail links, as promised here is an example of pure Fail I once met in the Mya system where I was expecting to fight some Basgerin Pirates, but instead landed on top of this:

[Vexor, Arbai's Vexor]
Expanded Cargohold I
Expanded Cargohold I
Quantum Co-Processor I
[empty low slot]

1MN MicroWarpdrive I
ML-3 Amphilotite Mining Probe
[empty med slot]

Miner II
Miner II
Miner II
Miner II
[empty high slot]

Mining Drone I x5

OK, where to start with this one... we have one of the less bad Gallente PvP ships fitted up for mining. This alone tickles my neurons! At least there was an intention of serious mining as the T2 modules attest. Isn't the Exequror a better choice for mining for a young Gallente pilot? Someone industrially minded (ie: Letrange) would know, but this brings me to my next point: the complete lack of any kind of tank. I killed this thing with a Rifter and I will readily admit that some T1 frigates have given me more of a challenge going through their tank. So I suspect that on top of not having any tank modules fitted, the character didn't have much in the way of tank skills... was too important training those Miner II's maybe! My memory failed me with the number of drones but he DID throw a whopping three Warrior I's at me. They're not on the killmail though because they were out in space in a vain attempt to hurt my Rifter. And then there's the MicroWarpdrive... oh damn how did I forget the ONE MEGA-NEWTON module ?!?! The fact that there were so few drones in a ship that gives awesome bonuses to them means only one thing: the pilot wasn't ready for a Vexor. But the last bit, the clincher of The Fail: what in the name of Ronnie James Dio was this ship hoping to achieve in Belt One of a three belt Low-sec system ?!?! I guess he was lucky it was I who turned this vague semblance of a cruiser into space dust; the Basgerins would probably have either ransomed or podded its pilot on top of it!

Do you have a funny killmail you would like to share with the community? If so, please evemail the killboard or BattleClinic link to Cozmik R5 in-game, or send it via regular e-mail at

Just as WDA and Ga'len have done in the past, the sender of a killmail that has been posted on the blog will receive a small ISK prize, the value of a random module fitted on the ship; dream on if you think I'll pay for Faction, Complex or Officer mods!

Keep your eyes open for Fail, and rid New Eden of these atrocities!


Edit: now that I'm out of the Reich, here's the actual fit and the link to BattleClinic, because the old AMC killboard has since died.


Riley (Ga'len) said...

Why not Wednesdays of Win? It's a win to see such examples of failure. Wednesdays of Win, initials are WoW, as in WOW, that fit sucks or WOW, yeah, go back to World of Warcraft.


Benoit CozmikR5 Gauthier said...

In my book, Wednesdays always fail at one level or another. I bet that the end of the world will arrive on a Wednesday :)

Letrange said...

Ah, nope, the Vexor is the correct cruiser ship for the Gallente... in a way. It has a bonus to MINING DRONES! with the ability to have a flight of T2 mining drones and 1 flight of T2 scout combat drones and a 3rd flight of T2 medium drones he should have been able to defend himself. I suspect age of character and lack of combat and fitting skills.

A full flight of 5 Warrior II's with (at level 4 cruiser skills) 40% more damage than normal should have raped your rifter to shredies.

Now I've done low sec mining in a Scythe (just for fun, during my FW days - never lost it) and the fact he was still in the belt when you landed means he didn't clue in that once ANYONE else is in the system it's time to evade and cloak up (he had a nice empty high slot for that prototype cloak).

Incidentally the reason some people prefer the Exequror is that it's bonus is to cargo hold, and can still field 5 mining drones as well as 3 light combat drones (what did the guy do?, transfer the modules from his old Exequror???) The idea is you have more cargo space so you spend less time going to and from station and more time mining. That's fine for high sec, but no necessarily for low sec where getting in fast mining as much as you can hold and buggering out quickly is more of a priority.

Benoit CozmikR5 Gauthier said...

Thanx for the clarification Let!

But yeah, he (she?) didn't have Warrior II's, didn't have 5 drones, and instead of its drones turning me to shreddies my Hail S turned it to swiss cheese :))

But the question remains: Mya... Belt 1... WTF ?!?!

Letrange said...

... Suicidal?