Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Wednesdays of Fail - 2011/10/05

Sorry for not posting for a few days, but the reason is simple. Precisely nothing has happened to me in either EVE Online or any other game lately, plus I had a Dad Weekend, plus I enjoy doing other stuff while I'm on vacation. I wish it was riding my bike but today is the first day where I can actually consider doing it; it has been a very rainy time for the past week or so in Montreal, it's good to have a change. But hey, can't have a Wednesday without a good ol' Fail Mail, and now that I have a few in the bank it would be stupid of me not to post 'em.

This week's entry comes from Lytia Tranaki of Fission Inc. Not too long ago they were hunting targets in W-space and came across a Rattlesnake that thought it was a Scorpion, kinda like dogs that think there are human:

[Rattlesnake, calspard's Rattler]
True Sansha Power Diagnostic System
True Sansha Power Diagnostic System
True Sansha Power Diagnostic System
Multi Sensor Backup Array II
Multi Sensor Backup Array II
Damage Control II

Pith X-Type Shield Boost Amplifier
Vepas' Modified ECM Multispectral Jammer
Vepas' Modified ECM Multispectral Jammer
Vepas' Modified ECM Multispectral Jammer
Sensor Booster II
Invulnerability Field II
Gist B-Type Large Shield Booster

Corpus X-Type Heavy Nosferatu
Improved Cloaking Device II
'Arbalest' Cruise Launcher I, Wrath Cruise Missile
ZW-4100 Siege Missile Bay, Inferno Torpedo
Caldari Navy Heavy Missile Launcher, Scourge Heavy Missile
Caldari Navy Heavy Missile Launcher, Scourge Heavy Missile

Large Capacitor Control Circuit II
Large Capacitor Control Circuit I
Large Capacitor Control Circuit I

Hammerhead I x11
Light Shield Maintenance Bot I x5

Holy Mother Mary and Joseph! I see someone has been using daddy's credit card a bit too much! At close to 3 billion ISK this ship would buy the regular player quite a few months of play time, and quite a few nice toys to go pewpew with. OK, let's wipe off the blood from our eyes and let's analyse this... monstrosity. First of all, Mr calspard didn't go light on the rigs, but this being an active tank I'll sorta forgive him. But then he goes and does something weird: half of a complex module tank and half of an Officer jamming setup. Who the hell in his right mind buys Officer jammers?! Whatever man... but the high slots really take the cake. A Nosferatu that's the price of a Vagabond, 4 missile launchers in 3 different flavors, 2 of which are Faction AND the wrong size for the ship; are you having that much trouble hitting frigates son? And the drones.... this is a joke right? With a full flight of Hammerhead I's, and giving the ship the benefit of "All level V skills" on EFT, this ships dishes out a whopping 315 DPS, and tanks 400 something. In comparison, my mission Sleipnir which is about a sixth the price of this Rattler tanks only slightly less and has more than double the firepower, and yeah, 524 m/s speed instead of the fat BS's 29. Yep, the Fail was strong in this one!

Lytia Tranaki, you sir (ma'am?) are about to receive some ISK. To prove to calspard that Real Men Hull Tank™, and only wimps ISK tank, you will be receiving 815000 ISK, which is your killboard's indicated value for the Damage Control II.

Do you have a funny killmail you would like to share with the community? If so, please evemail the killboard or BattleClinic link to Cozmik R5 in-game, or send it via regular e-mail at

Just as WDA and Ga'len have done in the past, the sender of a killmail that has been posted on the blog will receive a small ISK prize, the value of a random module fitted on the ship; dream on if you think I'll pay for Faction, Complex or Officer mods!

Keep your eyes open for Fail, and rid New Eden of these atrocities!



Riley (Ga'len) said...

Getting tennis elbow from the alternating face palm here, oh my...

Benoit CozmikR5 Gauthier said...

One of the Montreal guys is a Rattler pilot... can't wait for him to see this :))

Lytia Tranaki said...

The guys still laugh every time we talk about that kill. Couldn't believe it when we looted.

Felixdcat (rattler pilot) said...

rule of the internet....
What you have seen can not be onseen...

Benoit CozmikR5 Gauthier said...

See? Now I have to buy my buddy some sponges for his eyes...

Landredas said...

Shocking.... sigh, why can't these be the people i run into. As someone who is currently in the last stretch run (half way through Battlecruiser V)to get into a Sleipnir I'm curious as to what your fit is.

I want to be able to use it in the WH we're in right now, but i keep running into Cap issues when i'm drawing up fits.

Benoit CozmikR5 Gauthier said...

If this is your in-game name I'll mail you my PvE fit; it was quite successful in my time in W-space but that's before the sleeper neut buff. I don't know how badly the sleepers suck cap now.

LAndredas said...

It is indeed my in game name and that would be great!