Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Wednesdays of Fail - 2011/09/21

Institutioned by Winterblink and Urban Mongral of the late Warp Drive Active podcast, carried on by Ga'len the Wandering Druid of Tranquility, it is now my duty to bring to you the one great source of laughter and/or tears of blood from the sheer pain applied to the optic nerves of anyone who gazes at them: The Fail Mail! To me they are one of the big reasons to keep playing even in these present dark times. You never know when you will come across a ship so badly fit that you could probably have killed it with a hard enough pod bump!

After two weeks of posting my own fail mails from my BOZO past, guess what... I have finally received a Fail Mail! This week's mail was sent in by SuicidalPancake of Quantum Horizons. A bonus is that this is a capital ship killmail, and I've made no secrets of how much I hate capitals. The more dead capitals the better. Oh if anyone has a good supercap killmail, fail or not, please send it in so I can make fun of it XD So without further adieu, let take a look at this slow fat-assed piece of Caldari engineering (sorry Kirith!):

[Chimera, WarheadRex's Chimera]
Co-Processor II
Power Diagnostic System II
Power Diagnostic System II
Damage Control II

Capital Shield Booster I
Shield Boost Amplifier II
Invulnerability Field II
Invulnerability Field II
Caldari Navy Photon Scattering Field
Caldari Navy Heat Dissipation Field
Caldari Navy Ballistic Deflection Field

Drone Control Unit I
Drone Control Unit I
Drone Control Unit I
Capital Shield Transporter I
Prototype Cloaking Device I

Large Capacitor Control Circuit I
Large Capacitor Control Circuit I
Large Capacitor Control Circuit I

Hammerhead II x10
Hammerhead II x20
Warrior II x9
Heavy Shield Maintenance Bot I x30
Templar x8
Firbolg x7
Heavy Armor Maintenance Bot I x30
Garde II x30
Ogre II x45
Praetor EV-900 x30

First of all, I'm not going to analyse the actual fit of this thing; if you want to ask someone about various Chimera fits and how one would fail, ask Kirith Kodachi :) The fail in this Chimera's death lies somewhere else. You see, this carrier was killed in a system called SG-75T. This system is a really bad place for a solo carrier to fly in for two reasons: 1- there are no stations, and 2- there are no POSes. So getting safe in the event of blobbage, not that great. Another reason for fail is the apparent cloaking device malfunction. I mean, why fit a cloaker if you don't use it, right? But not only did he apparently not cloak, this Chimera got killed by what? 19 frigates and 2 interdictors. WOW! So my Columbo report on what happened that night in SG-75T: Mr Rex was happily killing anomalies after being cyno'd in by an alt, and because doing PvE in a faction-fit carrier is super easy Mr Rex decided to go grab a beer and watch a bit of TV while his fighters were tearing the Angels a new one. And suddenly a bunch of Fremen came in, decided to posture up to tame Shai-Hulud. With Mr Rex clearly away enjoying his beer, they turned Shai-Hulud into a billion tiny little crysknives !!!

SuicidalPancake, you sir are on the receiving end of some ISK. Because it is the one module that could have made this kill a non-event, you will be receiving 1,259,510 ISK, this being the value of the Prototype Cloaking Device I.

Do you have a funny killmail you would like to share with the community? If so, please evemail the killboard or BattleClinic link to Cozmik R5 in-game, or send it via regular e-mail at

Just as WDA and Ga'len have done in the past, the sender of a killmail that has been posted on the blog will receive a small ISK prize, the value of a random module fitted on the ship; dream on if you think I'll pay for Faction, Complex or Officer mods!

Keep your eyes open for Fail, and rid New Eden of these atrocities!



Riley said...

Yeah, it's "pace falm" time...


Magson said...

Wow, that was a fail fit, and yeah, he must have been afk pr something to lose to that group.

Loved the Dune references!

Benoit CozmikR5 Gauthier said...

Yeah well with the majority of the gang being from Fremen Sietch, it was kind of easy :)

I'm glad that the fit is also fail XD