Hello miner... Bye Bye miner !!!

Although I will surely not win any prizes with my 3 kills of a Procurer, a Covetor and a Hoarder, and of course my 2 lolfail attempts on a Badger and another Covetor, at least I'm able to say that I put in my 0.02 ISK worth in the current Hulkageddon IV. At first I was using Thrashers, but those work better in a wolf pack. With my play time being limited I didn't want to travel halfway across New Eden to find a gang to fly with but I knew that a 280mm fit Thrasher can still pack a nasty punch. The first lolfail was in Derelik space, near the old "last truck stop before Curse" that is Berta. It felt special flying in there after so long, and the system's red star still gave me the feeling that "the edge of 0.0" was close. I still remember how special it felt to go there for the first time as I was about to embark on the BOZO train. But I digress. Just 25km off the Juddi gate was a Badger sitting there doing nothing. I had just toured a few constellations without seeing anyone to gank so I went for it, even knowing what the gate guns would do... but I didn't expect the gate guns to be that devastating. That was quite funny! The second lolfail was in the same area, in Maspah I think. I landed next to a Covetor so all I had to do was target, overheat the guns, and shoot. First volley I nicked the armor. Second volley I nicked the structure. But unfortunately the third volley never came as I was interrupted by a case of the CONCORDOKKEN. Close but no cigar... time to rethink my tactics.

A quick scan of the HAG4 killboard points me towards the next ship I should try, a gank-fit Neutron Vexor:


[Vexor, HAG4]
Gauss Field Balancer I
Gauss Field Balancer I
Gauss Field Balancer I
Reactor Control Unit I

10MN MicroWarpdrive I
Sensor Booster I
[empty med slot]

Anode Neutron Particle Cannon I, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge M
Anode Neutron Particle Cannon I, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge M
Anode Neutron Particle Cannon I, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge M
Anode Neutron Particle Cannon I, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge M
[empty high slot]

Hammerhead I x5


At just a little over 500dps with my skills, this thing should do the trick nicely. I also decided to change venues for my antics, flying in and around the Abudban system. Abudban itself is always full of miners because of the ice belt, and thus is a prime target for Hulkageddon participants. It also sports about twice as many CONCORD ships as there are player ships... not a great idea for solo-ganking! The next system, Alakgur, looked promising though. only 20-ish in Local, a few miners and industrials on scan, time to hit the belts! And I didn't have to tour the belts very long before I land 10km away from the Procurer. Same drill as before: approach, target, launch drones, overheat and FIRE! I didn't melt it, I vaporised it. It was so quick that I actually had to wait for CONCORD! I don't care what some people think about Hulkageddon or one-sided PvP, THIS IS FUN :))) So off to Rens to re-ship and wait out the GCC.

After the 15 minutes are up I undocked and headed to the same system, and sure enough there were still miners in there. I believe that people should not play AFK in space, and at least pay attention to wtf is going on in Local, so the lesson must be taught. Once again I do a quick tour of the numerous belts, until I land 20km from a Covertor carelessly munching away on 'roids. It didn't even budge in the time I closed the distance to be in my near-sighted guns' optimal range. Same drill, same result, but the CONCORD response was a bit faster this time. I even took some time, exposed as I was, to look at the miner's pod for a few seconds... and it just stayed there! What the fuck, people ?!?!

Having way too much fun for my own good (and for my sec status), I head out again after the obligatory reship/GCC break, and head in the same direction. By this time I think some miners have clued in that "Cozmik R5 is a dangerous criminal" and it's looking like no one is left in the belts. Time to pay next door a visit! The system of Dammalin was much quieter; it has less belts and is the tip of this particular area of Hi-sec Heimatar. The quick tour showed that no one was mining so I came back to the Alakgur gate, and nearly fell out of my chair at some guy's carelessness. a few seconds after I landed at the gate a Hoarder lands at 15km from the gate on auto-pilot, crawling towards it at a snail's pace. I figured the following: I'm in a bigger ship, I do a lot more damage, and I'm in a 0.5 system... this just might work. So before he got in jumping range I burned towards him to give him a nasty bump, and unloaded. And ka'plah! No more Hoarder. This time I had warped my pod out to a planet because a battleship was witness to this and I was now free game. But to my complete disbelief, when I warped back to the gate to head home, the pod WAS STILL THERE !!! Once again, WTFUPPL !?!?!11

So out of the 3 ships that I killed, I can safely say that only one of them was actually manned. Props to the Procurer pilot for actually warping out as soon as the ship died, if not for noticing my presence... try aligning next time :) The other two "pilots" are either AFK's who shouldn't be out in space or bots. In either case, they fully deserved their fates. I really do not understand this gaming behavior. Look, I'm a gamer, and when I play a game, I play a game. I don't turn it on and then proceed to do something that allows me to do the dishes or watch a movie! I'll never get it, period. And all the while I'm thinking of my own industrial buddies. Are they out in space? Hell no! They not only know about HAG4, they make a profit from it, selling replacement hulls for miners and gankers alike. They are the ones to get the last laugh, all the way to the bank. And you know what? To do this they are NOT playing the game AFK, and if they are AFK they stay docked up. I'm happy Helicity created this event to remind people that EVE is meant to be played, and not simply turned on.

Fly hard, or dock the fuck up!

o7