Blog Banter: BE GONE !!!

Time for the Blog Banter thing, and this time there are prices to be won. I seriously doubt I'll win anything because my subject may send me into violent fits of rage. Read on.

Welcome to the ninth installment of the EVE Blog Banter and its first contest, the monthly EVE Online blogging extravaganza created by CrazyKinux. The EVE Blog Banter involves an enthusiastic group of gaming bloggers, a common topic within the realm of EVE Online, and a week to post articles pertaining to the said topic. The resulting articles can either be short or quite extensive, either funny or dead serious, but are always a great fun to read! Any questions about the EVE Blog Banter should be directed here. Check out other EVE Blog Banter articles at the bottom of this post!

"Last month Ga'len asked us which game mechanic we would most like to see added to EVE. This month Keith "WebMandrill" Nielson proposes to reverse the question and ask what may be a controversial question: Which game mechanic would you most like to see removed completely from EVE and why? I can see this getting quite heated so lets keep it civil eh?"

Civil? Me? On this subject? Tough luck. My answer is the following: REMOVE PUBLIC CONTRACTS IN ORDER TO REMOVE SCAMMING. I would even go further than that: give a -9.9 security status to any joker caught scamming so he can be podded at will by any noob in New Eden, to the point where he gets sick and finds another game to try his scamming "tricks" on some other idiots dumb enough to fall for them.

Scamming is the lowest form of remuneration to be found both in EVE and in real life. People guilty of it in real life get their own lives destroyed faster than you can spell E-N-R-O-N. I know that some people in EVE consider themselves masters at it, and for those that dare to call themselves "people" I have nothing but the utmost contempt. I would probably yell at their faces and slap them silly in real life, 6'3" or not (hell, probably even more so!).

And to those stupid enough to fall for these low-life parasites? READ BEFORE YOU CLICK OK, OK? How hard can this be. It's bad enough that everybody's block list is getting filled with ISK sellers and scamming larvae, but you "oh I'll buy this Navy Megathron.... oh shit it was a regular one and I just paid 250mil for it" type persons are the ones that fuel the scamming larvae's lust for just a little more ISK, bringing just what EVE needs, MORE SCAMMING ISK-HUNGRY FUCKNUTS. Just quit EVE and go back to buying everything you see on TV when the annoying Sham Wow dude says "CALL NOW!"

So what is my solution to the death of public contracts? Simple: if it's in the game, it can be put on the market. Period. If demand is low, price will be low, etc. That way pricing incongruity will be highly visible. And if you were stupid enough to buy a regular Megathron for 250 million, well, you could always hope that my "pod-on-sight" therapy for scammers is in effect, but if you're that stupid you probably don't know how to file in a petition, let alone sign your own name.

Parting shot to scammers: Catch cancer, die in fires, get plowed over by a cement truck, all this while you get raped by mountain gorillas. Sorry for offending any self-respecting gorilla.

Editorial: want to know why I get so violent? I work at Montreal's Municipal Court and every day we deal with the lowest low-lives you could ever think about. In a game like EVE of course some low-lives will get in and try their shitty little tricks, but why they don't get penalized for it in EVE like they would anywhere else is beyond me. For a company called "Crowd Control Productions", I personnaly think it could do a better job at controlling crowds.

/banter, fuck!

Participants:

1. Diary of a Space Jockey, Blog Banter: BE GONE!
2. EVE Newb, (EVE) Remove You
3. Miner With Fangs, Blog Banter - It's the Scotch
4. The Eden Explorer, Blog Banter: The Map! The Map!
5. The Wandering Druid of Tranquility, "Beacons, beacons, beacons, beacons, beacons, mushroom, MUSHROOM!!!"
6. Inner Sanctum of the Ninveah, Kill the Rats
7. Mercspector @ EVE, Scotty
8. EVE's Weekend Warrior, EVE Blog Banter #9
9. Miner with Fangs, Blog Banter - It's the Scotch
10. A Merry Life and a Short One, Eve Blog Banter #9: Why Won't You Die?
11. Into the unknown with gun and camera, Blog Banter – The Hokey Cokey
12. The Flightless Geek, EVE Blog Banter #9: Remove a Game Mechanic
13. Sweet Little Bad Girl, Blog Banter 9: Who is Nibbling at My House?
14. One Man and His Spaceship, Blog Banter 9: What could you do without?
15. Life in Low Sec, EVE Blog Banter #9: Stop Tarnishing My Halo
16. Cle Demaari: Citizen, Blog Banter #9: Training for all my men!
17. A Mule in EVE, He who giveth, also taketh away?
18. Dense Veldspar, Blog Banter 9
19. Morphisat’s Blog, Blog Banter #9 – Randomness Be Gone !
20. Facepalm's Blog, EVE Blog Banter #9: What a new pilot could do without
21. Memoires of New Eden, You're Fired
22. Kyle Langdon's Journeys in EVE, EVE Blog Banter #9 Titans? What's a Titan?
23. Achernar, The gates! The gates are down!
24. Speed Fairy, EVE Blog Banter #9: Down with Downtime!
25. I am Keith Neilson, EVE Blog Banter #9-F**K Da Police
26. Ripe Lacunae, The UI… Where do I begin… (Eve Blog Banter #9)
27. Clown Punchers, EvE Blogs: What game mechanic would you get rid of?
28. More articles as they are posted!

Assaulting heavily

Finally things have quieted down a bit now that my move is done, and though I'm still out of game because of the start of another Dad Week things are now a lot less stressful and I can actually enjoy myself. Moving sucks. Period.

In the past few weeks as I had very little time to be in-game I decided to train something big that I had put off when the Quantum Rise speed re-balance was announced. I had then veered off the HAC path to concentrate on the interdictors. After I finally got into my Broadsword I started to train the battleship skills, but getting into the large T2 guns would take a long time so now that I can fly semi decent Tempests, Maelstroms, Megathrons and Hyperions (I don't have the missile skills for the Typhoon or the drone skills for the Dominix) it is finally time I come back to the ship I was aiming for since that faithful day in January 2008 when I first installed the EVE client. Back then I was reading every guide I could find, and also bombarding Letrange with every imaginable noob question. Among questions about what to train immediately, game mechanics, and that dreaded GUI, one of the questions I asked was a lot more long term for the 900k SP noob I was: what would be the best ship that would fit my flying style like a latex glove. My performance requirements were the following: I want a ship that accelerates like a Top Fuel dragster, hits like Mike Tyson, and has just enough of a tank to get out of dodge with no one the wiser. Letrange's answer: "You sir are a Vagabond pilot". Awesome... WTF is a Vagabond? :))

The first time I did a "Show info" and "View market details" on the Vaga had my eyes pop out of my skull and my jaw hitting my keyboard. Not only would this ship take just shy of Forever to train up for, but it would also take more ISK than I could ever imagine having... ah, the things that scare us when we start this daunting adventure! So slowly but surely I start walking down the HAC path from its very beginning, doing the best I could to polish up the skills that would allow me to fit the ship correctly when eventually I'd get it. Fast forward to the present and the time has now come. Millions of ISK don't scare me nearly as much anymore (though being a PvPer keeps me on the "poor" list) and all the necessary fitting skills are ready. On Tuesday, June 30th, Cozmik R5 will have acheived the ability to fly Heavy Assault Cruisers! And not only the Vagabond and Muninn of his Minmatar heritage, but also the Ishtar and Deimos because my moving hiatus gave me the time to train up Gallente Cruiser V; the drone and hybrid gun skills still need a lot of work but I'm slowly getting there especially because I trained up for a decently fit Taranis.

The main problem in flying these ships will be the difficulty in replacing the inevitable losses when I'll fly them in PvP. I will admit that my trade alt is doing better and better, but I'll also admit that I'm far from being able to buy each one of the ships, fit them, rig them, and get replacements. But I will make an exception where the Vagabond is concerned; I have tons of modules to fit it, and it's the ship I've wanted from the very start. Things would be slightly different if I were still in BOZO as these guys have THE BEST ship replacement program in the entire game, but until my eventual return (yes, you heard it here first, if they still want me of course!) I will learn to fly the ship while I myself take care of funding it. That will force me to fly it smart, but yes, there are very good chances that I'll be flying it the only way I know how: DANGEROUS >:))

Fly that way too... it's the only way

o7

Podcastin' luv :)

What does an EVE player (or any other game for that matter) do when he's stuck out of game every other week and forums and killboards have been read 20 times? He listens to podcasts of course! I started listening to podcasts just after I got into EVE and since then I've started to listen to podcasts that talk about other games too, and more. Here is a short list with links and reviews of what I like listening to when sitting in public transit on my way to work:

BOZOKast: Where better to start but with my old alliance mates' podcast about massive amounts of The PvP in Syndicate space, helmed by Quebnaric Deile and Teister, with collaborators Tolarus, Jel Malar, Arancia Detto (amongst others), and with Vibenation2 controlling the sound apps. Beware though: the dark humor, politically incorrectness and foul language may not be for the faint of heart, but I'm not so I love every second of it! It was inspired by the crazy stuff that gets said over the Bozo comms. And just so you know, things do get even crazier on the Bozo comms than on the podcast, especially after a big fight where comm discipline is very strict but extremely effective. One of the new-comers of the EVE podcasts, they are nonetheless pretty regular at updating, unless they start shooting at a juicy target.

Fly Reckless: When flying safe is just no damn fun! Brought to fame by Silicon Buddha, this podcast has been revitalized by Atraxerxes after Buddha needed a break from EVE. The first few episodes helmed by Ax were slighty "experimental" as far as sound quality and format went, but being regular at updating means that experience is seriously starting to show and now Ax is putting out an excellent product. This podcast has regular in-game news, dev blogs for those like me that don't read 'em, tips for players young and old, CSM news, etc. Every EVE player should listen to this to stay on top of what is going on in EVE.

Podded: Back after a pretty long break, this is the EVE podcast with the British twist. I haven't yet listened to all the new episodes but from what I see this podcast is back on a weekly basis so the news will be as fresh as can be until someone is crazy enough to start a daily EVE show. Not THAT would be nuts !!!

Warp Drive Active: The first podcast I listened to after getting into this EVE thing. Back then it was pretty regular with fresh news and all, but slowly Real Life caught up with helmsmen Winterblink and Urban Mongral and episodes have come out further and further apart, though even if they are late they are tons of fun to listen to. I hope that this podcast makes a comeback to its former glory because it would sadden me to see them drift into the void.

The Drone Bay and MicroWarpCast: Starring among others fellow blogger and Montrealer CrazyKinux, these podcasts also fell victims to the rigors of Real Life just when the quality was getting up there. The Drone Bay has seen a few special episodes starring Crovan and a slew of guests from CCP, but unfortunately MWC has been out of action for over 7 months now. Yep, Real Life is a Bitch!

No prisoners, no mercy: Another one from the VirginWorlds Collective, this podcast started out covering mostly Warhammer Online and World of Warcraft but is now covering other games as well, including EVE. The special thing about this podcast: it is hosted by real life nuns! Sister Julie and Sister Fran give various news and tips about various games, get Mad As Hell (tm) from time to time, and call in fellow blogger and real-life Buddy Of Awesomeness Letrange for information about EVE. The last episode he was in was basically a crash course for the EVE newbie and is very much worth listening to.

Other VirginWorlds Collective podcasts: The other VWC podcasts are also very interesting, although some have not seen any updates for over a year. My three favorite ones apart from the ones listed above would be Shut Up We're Talking (general MMO podcast), VanHemlock (also general MMO podcast), and Through The Aftermath (post-apocalyptic gaming podcast).

F1 Rejects: As some of you may already know, I'm a speed freak. Therefore I love F1! No, I'm not one of those NASCAR fans that cry about "there's not enough passing... WAAA!". I'm all about going as fast as bloody well possible, and NOTHING can even touch an F1 car on a road course. Oh, and they turn right too; ever seen the Eau Rouge corner at Spa-Francorchamps? It makes me wet my pants each time I blast through it, and that's only in a sim! This podcast and site was made in honor of those back-of-the-grid pilots and teams who would otherwise have faded into nothingness. Never heard of Enrico Bertaggia? Jacques Villeneuve, the uncle? Coloni? Fondmetal? Well, this is the place where these names are enshrined. The podcast also has up-to-date news on the F1 world, and very good post-race reviews where of course, a reject of the race is named, for example Sebastian Vettel for slamming his car out of a podium finish at Monaco this year.

And there you go. Now plug in that MP3 player of yours and start downloading all that podcasting goodness to make your commute or day go by faster :))

Fly with the thottle on the floor,

o7

New benchmarks

Yesterday was a good time for me and AMC as we saw the fruitition of hard labor, pure luck, and plain old skilling up. Here is a short run-down:

After mining tons of gas sites, looting and salvaging hordes of Sleeper wrecks, hacking many combat sites, doing lots of reactions and reverse-engineering and being extremely patient, The first AMC Tech 3 strategic cruisers are coming off the assembly line. One of our pilots got his Proteus yesterday, as described in Letrange's blog, and others should be getting their own favorite T3 ships soon. I'll be waiting a bit as I have neither the ISK, shares, or skills to fly and support them. but I'm not feeling left out. Read on.

Last week in an extremely lucky exploration trip I had found a very valuable piece of equipment courtesy of the Serpentis Coreli people, and was even lucky enough to find the same module twice! One of those sold (I have to split the profit of the second one though) and I was able to buy and fit a ship I've been waiting a long time for, my very first Maelstrom of Shield Boostin' Tankiness !!! This ship already is a champion at the active shield tank, but when you put it in a pulsar environment it becomes a Behemoth. Knowing I wouldn't be able to fly a dreadnought for a good while (if ever) I decided to give it the name I had in reserve for the capital ship: Shub Niggurath, the original Quake game's final boss. The ship will mostly see action in our colony system's Sleeper sites, but should some jokers decide to pitch a tent in our backyard again (more on that when I have time to elaborate) I will glady fire VW Bug sized bullets at said tent.

Shub Niggurath on its way home

I also want to take this opportunity to salute the new AMC members who are friends old and new who will soon get a taste of what this small seamingly carebearish alliance is capable of.

Fly dangerous,

o7

Ships I can only dream about

One thing that makes EVE so beautiful and fun to play is the awesome variety of ships to be found and the zillion ways you can fit them, from Epic Fail to ZOMFGIPWNJ00411. But in a lot of cases, some ships are so rare and so massively expensive that when a player will finally get one the ship will most likely be used as a super luxurious private yacht and all its crazy bonuses will go to waste in fear of even getting the paint scratched. To those who not only have the ISK to buy and fit these crazy ships but also have the brass ones to put them in the line of fire, I have nothing but admiration for you. More on that later.

Two of those crazy expensive ships kinda fit my play style of "get into someone's face and do as much damage as humanly possible". I'm not yet an expert on fitting battleships, but I admit to being something of an EFT addict, especially when I'm stuck out of game like I am this week. So feel free to flame my setups as you see fit, post your own in the comments, or post your own crazy expensive ships of your wildest dreams. Here goes:

Machariel

[Machariel, OMFG MAC]
Domination Gyrostabilizer
Domination Gyrostabilizer
Domination Gyrostabilizer
Thukker Power Diagnostic System
Thukker Power Diagnostic System
Thukker Power Diagnostic System
Damage Control II

Domination 100MN MicroWarpdrive
Thukker Large Shield Extender
Thukker Large Shield Extender
Domination Warp Disruptor
Domination Invulnerability Field

800mm Repeating Artillery II, Hail L
800mm Repeating Artillery II, Hail L
800mm Repeating Artillery II, Hail L
800mm Repeating Artillery II, Hail L
800mm Repeating Artillery II, Hail L
800mm Repeating Artillery II, Hail L
Domination Siege Missile Launcher, Dread Guristas Inferno Torpedo
Domination Siege Missile Launcher, Dread Guristas Inferno Torpedo

Core Defence Field Extender II
Core Defence Field Extender II
Core Defence Field Extender II


Berserker II x3


Used by the Angel Cartel in the Curse region, the Machariel was one of the very first battleships I got to tangle with. As a Minmatar pilot cross-trained in Gallente this is the one which I am closest to get, in gunnery skills at least; ISK is another matter as you can probably tell by a few modules. In the days prior to the so-called "speed nerf", this ship had the potential to be pure death because on top of its already near-ridiculous damage bonuses, it was hella fast. Even now with the current fit (ok, ok... skills at "all 5") it has a top speed of 1300 m/s, which is faster than a lot of CRUISERS! So say you have all your skills maxed out because you're a l33t h4x0r or something, you will get 1176 DPS out of this thing. Any way you look at it, that's a lot of DPS !!! I had an alliance mate in Bozo who has the big brass ones I was talking about earlier to fly stuff like that in battle, and unfortunately his own Machariel was lost in an encounter with unfriendlies. I salute you, you know who you are ... o7

But the next one can be even more of a damage monster. It's a tad less flexible because of blasters but I pity anything that gets in the next ship's path:

Vindicators

[Vindicator, Arcadia]
Shadow Serpentis Magnetic Field Stabilizer
Shadow Serpentis Magnetic Field Stabilizer
Shadow Serpentis Magnetic Field Stabilizer
Syndicate 1600mm Reinforced Steel Plates
Shadow Serpentis Energized Adaptive Nano Membrane
Shadow Serpentis Energized Adaptive Nano Membrane
Damage Control II

Domination 100MN MicroWarpdrive
Domination Warp Scrambler
Domination Stasis Webifier
Shadow Serpentis Sensor Booster, Scan Resolution
Dark Blood Heavy Capacitor Booster, Cap Booster 800

Neutron Blaster Cannon II, Dread Guristas Antimatter Charge L
Neutron Blaster Cannon II, Dread Guristas Antimatter Charge L
Neutron Blaster Cannon II, Dread Guristas Antimatter Charge L
Neutron Blaster Cannon II, Dread Guristas Antimatter Charge L
Neutron Blaster Cannon II, Dread Guristas Antimatter Charge L
Neutron Blaster Cannon II, Dread Guristas Antimatter Charge L
Neutron Blaster Cannon II, Dread Guristas Antimatter Charge L
Core Probe Launcher I, Core Scanner Probe I

Trimark Armor Pump II
Trimark Armor Pump II
Hybrid Burst Aerator I


Ogre II x5


Another cross-breed of Minmatar and Gallente technology, the Vindicator is the Serpentis answer to the Megathron; its pirate heritage and the general look of the ship made me name the fit after Phantom F. Harlock's awesome battleship. This one may have less range because of its blasters and their very short fall-off, but still imagining you have everything trained up to 5, have the zillions of ISK required, and the set of big brass ones to fly it in anger, this thing will deliver 1378 DPS, and a volley of 4472. That is enough to insta-pop most cruisers, and with that much DPS most T1 battlecruisers and battleships would last only a few short seconds. For that alone I want one! And as a bonus, it is W-space capable !!! Just so you know, you really need all those skills maxed out because the modules fit with a shoe-horn and a lot of grease; for example, the CPU has exactly 0.25 of play.

And not only are these ships rare and have the price tags of medium-sized countries, they are also a sight to behold. Every so often you can see some of these beauties at your local mission or market hub just prancing around and looking awesome. And of course no one would dare try to suicide-gank these things because their tank is hard enough to survive everything short of multiple battleship attacks, and of course in Hi-sec that would just be too funny as CONCORD would drop their virtual doughnuts faster than any police force after a Stanley Cup riot!

So there you have it, two ships that I can technically fly (if not quite fit) but whose price tags are so immense that even if I liquidate all my assets and pull all the buy orders on my trade alt, I'd only have about half the ISK required to buy only one of these, and then I'd have no ISK for the mods. Maybe one day, with the T3 cruiser, the carrier, the dreadnought.... *sigh* Again, please feel free to comment my fits, or add your own ships that you would love to own at some point in time; Kirith isn't allowed to brag about his Nightmare though :))

Fly dangerous, always.

o7